Journey Of Life&Love

life currently...

2011-12-18T19:42:00.003+08:00

Life as a HO for the past 1 month plus in surgical department is so far so good, blessed with nice collegues, MOs and specialist. Year 2011 is coming to an end soon, a year that is full of ups and downs, surprises and new encounters, new experiences, and conflicts. Recently, there are a lot of things to worry, hope all these will end together with year 2011.. may god protect me.

yenny

God's lesson

2011-11-05T00:34:00.003+08:00

After about 1 month of blissful life, my life is again being attacked by stressor after stressor. I have no control over it. Today my appeal to AS got rejected. I feel extremely sad, angry, dissapointed, hopeless, and jealous. But I cannot do anything about it. I m alone. What I can do is just trying hard to hold the tears back, along the way from PD to airport in the car, and also during the flight, somehow it still trickled down no matter how hard i tried, luckily they dimmed the light while landing. The news is like stabbing me in the heart. Probably it is all because I put in too too much hope of getting AS hoping to be together with my husband leading a life together at least for one solid year. I always thought at least now after all these years, finally I can have my husband as my main pillar of strength in these 2 tough years. But, it looks like it is not God's plan for us. Probably this is God's punishment for me, to give me a lesson. The more you try to avoid something, the more likely you will get it. It is very true. That's the cruelty of life. I feel totally demotivated, having anhedonia, and all the enthusiasm that i had before I knew the reply , all of a sudden, lost. I don't feel excited to go to work anymore, I don't feel like I want to improve anymore. I just wanna do nothing. All these are bad bad emotions, which I hope with time, it will become better...Again I am reminded not to put too high hope on anything in future. No one could understand my feelings now... 2 years. I hope these 2 years fly away in a blink of an eye. I dunno.. I keep consoling myself saying probably this is the God's best arrangement for me, is it?

HOME FOR GOOD =)

2011-09-21T19:23:00.003+08:00

Finally after all the hard work throughout the years, I finally obtained my degree =). Thanks to my mum and dad (who keep praying for my success, asking me not to worry, just do my best..) sister & bro and my great friends who supported me along the way in manipal and melaka.. And lastly but not the least is my darling, without him, I would most probably have given up halfway..He has been with me through thick and thin, listening to me all the time, bearing with my temper tantrum, and trying his best to console and comfort me during those sleepless stressful nights before major exams.. During moments when I could not stand the stress anymore, he would always be there, listening to me crying over the phone...Thank you darling from the bottom of my heart.. I love u..
Now on the way back home for good... final departure from melaka to alorstar... A wonderful ending for the 7 years training...

yenny

sunshine again =D

2011-07-25T00:41:00.004+08:00

I had a wonderful weekend..thanks to my dear... for the past 24 hours, I am feeling so happy and blessed and loved...
I hope I can see my darling in my dream tonight =) and may god protect and provide me strength to study properly tomorrow..

yenny

beginning of the final lap

2011-07-22T14:26:00.004+08:00

today technically begins my last study break after a long 7 years journey .. hopefully this is the last and the final one... It is a mixture of feelings..top of the list is always an uninvited enemy "FEAR" of not be able to reach the finishing line as expected... Time is ticking away.. I pray to god that please protect me from unwanted stressors during this period of time.. please let me study with a peace of mind... please provide me strength to overcome all the negative emotions and not to be affected by anyone anything at all..
Had a great time in the Hall yesterday cheering together with my batchmates, hope ALL of us will reach the finishing line together this time and none being left behind.

yenny

Life is difficult

2011-07-21T20:20:00.002+08:00

Things become more and more difficult recently... in all aspects of my life... O God, assist me.. I just tell myself to be patient and be strong and remind myself to be happy.. All will become better someday or probably I will be forced to become stronger and colder or in a nicer term "independent" a word which i hated all the while..
Sometimes I wonder, do I really demand so much? I keep asking myself that question.. i think I m not.. All the while I just want company, time, love, care and concern... is it too much to ask for? Probably all is not possible now... which makes me sad most of the time...I know I shouldn't be sad, I should change my thinking bla bla bla.. easier said than done.. I hope I can but I couldn't.. Life goes on...
By writing it down makes me feel better somehow...
I think I shall just go to the Hall and sit there watching the world around me.

yenny

Be Strong

2011-06-10T21:55:00.003+08:00

Friday night... supposed to be a time for rest.. but it is not possible with p2s2 in 2 months time.. It seems like just yesterday that I was preparing for p2s1..Time flies... But I just could not fight with the tiredness and end up sleeping for long hours... Just feel so lethargic.. dunno why..
I wish you could be here to accompany me through this horrendous p2s2.. I remember during my study break last year, you would bring me for movies, or play games, or sing karaoke, or eat McD/mamak etc when u realised i was stressed out... All are wonderful memories.. I know is not possible this year... I have to be strong and strive on. Oh God, provide me strength and protect me. Keep me well...

yenny

again and again

2011-06-06T21:59:00.003+08:00

Oh God, please guide and teach me what to do... I feel like I am facing a dead end.. I have tried but thing doesn't seem to work... I feel sad, irritable, angry, disappointed and have poor concentration. I wanted to just go to sleep.. I need to talk..

yenny

Hope for a brighter day.

2011-06-05T23:51:00.003+08:00

It hurts me as much as it hurts him...the pain is so much more deeper than I thought I would feel.. .. I wish I made the right decision. I just don't wish things keep going downhill.. I hope a short break is good for each other to reflect and hopefully to improve...

yenny

emotionally affected...

2011-06-04T11:17:00.003+08:00

Woke up late today... went for breakfast with my good friend... came back room... stumbled upon this video and hence decided to rewatch it on a saturday morning... Eventually the tears just flow uncontrollably...I do not know what has triggered it...or I should say probably I know...
Today there is a long list of tasks which I am supposed to complete.. all by myself alone in my room.. But I might just sleep off... It takes a great strength and determination. I wish I have it today.
Be strong yenny!

yenny

=(

2011-06-03T23:50:00.002+08:00

Things have not been going well lately.. It has been a tough hard time for me (probably for him too) in the last few months.. But nothing can be done about it except accepting it and get used to it..I feel stressed noone to talk to, I feel lonely, I feel sad, I shed tears, I tell myself dun jealous of other ppl, dun look at other ppl, I psycho myself dun feel sad, be strong and things will be better.. again and again the cycles continue.. But till when? i do not know, only god knows. I will go to sleep tonight and tomorrow will be another day.. Wanna find a hide-out place tml to spend my day in silence. Long distance relationship with busy schedule is not a bed of roses.

yenny

weekend blues

2011-04-24T22:30:00.002+08:00

Has been quite long since i last blogged.. I try to refrain myself from complaining... so whenever i feel stressed, sad and down, I just try to pull myself up again and again and put up a tough front in front of ppl.. but this time I tried but i failed. I need to express it out. Being alone in room during weekend makes things worse. I choose to sleep 16hrs per day. I dun feel happy I feel very stressed I feel terrible I feel I m all alone. 5 more months, the stress is killing me. People around me even my loved ones will just say, you are chronic, find your own way to solve the problem, noone can help u, accept ur condition now, nothing can be changed.

Recently a professor of mine Prof C said , the most stressful exam in his medical life is MBBS even though since then he has been taking lots of postgraduate exams but all those dun really matter.. because without that MBBS, all ur years of hard work & precious time boils down to NOTHING...u will just be a SPM graduate.. On the other hand, even if u fail ur MRCP or Master.. so wat? u are still a DOCTOR, you will still have a stable job and comfortable salary.

I am telling myself repeatedly again and again, practically every morning before i leave to class.. to just study myself, regardless whether how pathetic i m, how lonely i feel, how stressful i feel... I just need to wipe off the tears, remind myself of happy moments in my life.. and move on continue to study... it is definitely easier to say than do. I wish I m cold blooded like I used to be during school time..those time emotions can never affect me.

Sunday night... I wish tml is still a sunday... so that i can rest for one more day.. i still feel extremely tired...

May God hear my sorrow and guide and protect me...

Yenny

final semester...

2011-03-06T10:21:00.002+08:00

In lcct now.. waiting to go back to melaka for the commencement of my final semester of MBBS... hopefully I will pass in first attempt itself.. study hard and pray hard yenny! dun ever give up! In these coming few months time, there will definitely be enormous stress but hang on... everything gonna be fine.. just try your best.. believe in prayers, think positively ... ur loved ones will always be there for u... i had a wonderful holiday for the past 1 week... I miss home, pa & mummy, bro, sis and of course my dear... As for now.. I m happy that we already have a rough plan.. and we will together make our dream come true kie dear .. love u sooo much!

yenny

Happy Chinese New Year!

2011-02-01T21:44:00.002+08:00

Wishing everyone a wonderful year ahead!!

Shao En & Yenny

2011-01-22T16:46:00.002+08:00

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."

2011-01-22T15:20:00.002+08:00

Pictures that I come across on a dull saturday...

Serenity...

2011-01-22T14:51:00.002+08:00

"Never search your happiness in others, it'll make you feel alone. But search it in yourself, you'll feel happy even if you're alone."

life...

2011-01-14T17:10:00.003+08:00

Only two miracles are worth seeing:
The miracle of loving
And
The miracle of forgiving.

~Sri Chinmoy~

The Ship of Life

2011-01-12T18:51:00.001+08:00

The ship of life
Across the shore awaits a boat

Though sea's are rough, its still
afloat

Raise the sails, held up by mast
Forget the troubles of distant
past

As wave crash down upon the deck
Steady the boat; not quite a
wreak

Tend the mast, and fix the scrach
light the lantern with one last
match

The storm will end, pull anchor
and rope.

look up to see the stars of hope.

Jessica M. Balcom

Patience

2011-01-12T18:46:00.000+08:00

"Patience, a virtue, is the capacity of enduring hardship or inconvenience emphasizes calmness, self-control, and the willingness or ability to tolerate delay. Its opposite is weakness. Let your sense of humor give you balance, perspective, poise and patience. Patience, together with Peace and Love, forms the Trinity of Compassion."

Prayers...

2011-01-09T22:10:00.000+08:00

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the Serenity
to accept the things
I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And Wisdom to know the difference.

HOPE

2011-01-09T22:08:00.001+08:00

Never Let Go Of Hope

One day you will see that it all has finally come together.

What you have always wished for has finally come to be.

You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself,
"How did I get through all of that?"

Just never let go of hope.

Just never quit dreaming.

And never let love depart from your life.

~ Jancarl Campi ~

Such poem holds me back whenever I feel like giving up...

HEART

2011-01-02T22:34:00.002+08:00

...It is hard to numb the heart, it needs thousands of slashes... but it is going to be even harder to resensitize it back... that's when real disaster begins...

I feel like I want to just get back below the blanket =(

-yenny-

Happy New Year

2011-01-02T20:54:00.003+08:00

Had been sick for few days... Spent the new year eve in friend's house watching movies together with a bunch of gal-friends...the next morning, went to have a walk in a park and spend sometime at the playground.. then the rest of the day and today, I just stayed in my room watching movies, listening to songs, onlining and sleeping.. However this morning enjoyed a performance by Tzu Chi organization in MITC... tomorrow gonna go to Muar again...
My New Year Wishes : Pass P2S1 and go home, families & friends in good health, darling less busy and happy always, and last but not least, I hope I will be posted to AS Gh and we have chance to at least experience daily life together and not to be separated anymore. May God provide me strength to face the challenging months to come...

yenny

first day A&E

2010-12-27T23:09:00.002+08:00

Today everything was ok.. MO, HO, nurses and MA all are nice....although have to stand from morning till night, but I rather enjoy it... would be better if after coming back get to go sleep straight.. too bad now need to prepare the slides for common programme..anyway just do it =)... i dun feel irritated or upset today.. hope i maintain this emotion for long... tomorrow 6am gonna get up and go muar again... I should start doin my slides rather than blogging...huh

yenny

back to reality...

2010-12-26T23:32:00.002+08:00

At the very last minute, I decided to go to Spore to spend my weekend with my siblings, cousins, niece and nephews..on the day itself I bought the tic and i left.. I just want to leave this place.. get away for sometime...to clear up my mind and lighten the heart.. I don't wish to spend this Christmas alone.. it is pathetic.. on the other hand I don't want to lose this opportunity to spend time together with my family members.. I would have slept through my weekend if i were to stay in hostel feeling sad, angry, upset, bored, hopeless, demotivated... I am glad that I made the decision to leave this place. I had an enjoyable and meaningful time in Spore... I feel like I am at home, being showered with love and care.. Most of the time, we were just spending time sitting together, eating, walking at the market, chatting, laughing, playing video games with the kids, went flying kites, picniking, playing cards, dancing... I love such family outings.. I would say my cousins and cousin-in-laws are really good in parenting...I really salute them.. I learn a lot by just observing.. I wish I could be like them.. they really put in all the efforts and together they try to bring up their children in the best way possible.. they try to provide the children a loving home and all the care and love.. despite their busy corporate schedule, they will try to spend quality time talking and listening to the child, bringing them out for outing , fly kites together with them etc etc.. On the other hand, they as parents set good example to the kids... Despite years of marriage, they are still as loving as newly-weds...Seeing this at least gives me some hope.. that all this is not impossible.. I keep telling myself one day all this is possible... I feel happy for the last 2 days... Keep telling myself to maintain that spirit... But I really can't help it.. every night after talking on the phone for a while.. and once i sit alone quietly in room, again I feel sad.. Anyone can tell me what can I do to keep myself happy and motivated? except from running away from reality... I can't avoid reality for long... Probably for the next 3 weeks of A&E posting, from 8am to 9 pm everyday, I would be too tired to sit alone.. probably is a good idea to come back to campus everyday, reach here by 10 something.. bath.. and sleep and next morning 7 am leave to muar again... Tired... haven read anything... clear up the mind and just concentrate on my books...

yenny

=(

2010-12-23T18:41:00.002+08:00

slept whole afternoon.. 30 mins nap become 3 hours.. with bad unhappy dreams.. haih.. yet now feel so tired...so much work to do.. but don't feel like doing anything.. Christmas is around the corner.. but i don't feel the joyful atmosphere at all...
This morning while in OT, suddenly it stroke my mind that I must study hard from now in order to pass final exam in order for me to lead the life i want, not like now.. At that moment I am very energetic and told myself that must must study hard. But after coming back to room after lunch, I just feel so tired and just wanna sleep.. then upon awakening, staring at the ceiling.. confused whether what time of the day it is but i just couldn't be bothered.. forced myself to get up and do something meaningful... Here I am.. feel so not motivated and sien..Irony of life.. at one moment feel so motivated, the next feel so demotivated..
tonight have to force myself to read and prepare the slides..

yenny

acceptance...

2010-12-23T00:15:00.004+08:00

I am still not be able to let go... let go of the desire for each other's company...the wish to be with each other at least after work... i thought i have managed to accept it and adapt to it well.. but i know i am wrong.. Once I m back to my room alone from library at night, i will be reminded of all the unhappy thoughts which i hate it soooo much.. five solid years.. every year uni exam is not just an exam for me, it is more than that...A pass is in exchange with a few days of happy memories.. even this final uni exam is no exception... unless I pass I wont be able to apply back to work and we still wont be able to spend much time together... things will still be the same. we will still be separated apart communicating through the stupid gaggets within the limited time that we have. I really hate this so much.. probably that's why i hate exams so much, it seems to be dictating my life my relationship etc etc....haih.. shall bear with it for another 9 months... I don't want to care anymore already.. tired of having exams controlling my life...
Tonight slept off few times in library although after consuming a huge cup of caffeine... should be studying for surgery presentation but poor progress.. This morning ortho clinical end posting doesn't seem to go well.. anyway hope for the best..
This Christmas weekend will most probably rotting in hostel... hibernating... I realise that recently I do start to enjoy being alone resting in room. Going to sleep soon...
Tomorrow is another brand new day.

yenny

keep going....

2010-12-21T00:55:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow having slides presentation... i hope will be okie.. just more anxious for wednesday clinical end posting.. Keep telling myself "be strong and keep striving on..."
Dunno what to read for wednesday long case... can't really concentrate but keep trying.. so now just keep reading...nitez....

yenny

life...

2010-12-19T23:47:00.002+08:00

At times, I wonder.. What is life... How life should be like... What is relationship... How relationship should be like... What is this .. what is that... why this... why that... I have no answer...
You feel extremely fatigue when you feel sad... but you feel energetic when you are happy...
Looking at Bailey & Love and Davidson now , I feel like wanna just go to bed.. In the afternoon, I am happy reading it... life ... life...

yenny

week-end...

2010-12-19T23:00:00.002+08:00

The heart hurts again... it just strikes my soul again and again... I don't know what to do. I just let it be and let time be the healer...it works... I don't wish to be reminded of all the harsh facts.. I wish to be told in an optimistic way.. I have been trying to keep my composure for few days and keep myself happy and calm for few days. It feels good. Today in the morning I cycled to xinho for breakfast with KL, came back do my work with the accompany of Kenny G songs, had lunch tapau by jennie, slept off the whole afternoon, went for shopping + dinner with SC...and now at night in my room.. Reality strikes again.. Is it really gonna be like this for the whole solid two years... how do i cope with it... should i act like nothing happen... or just accept it and flow with it... should I just fill in my yearly calendar with only my own plans and activities.. Should i keep myself fully occupied all the time with studies and studies... I hate these feelings..
Having ortho end posting again on Wednesday. Today supposed to read up a bit for surgery presentation but slept off.. till now no progress at all... Shall do some breathing exercise taught by Dr XP.. calm myself down... learn not to be affected by anything and anyone in this world...
Yenny, just concentrate on your studies... don't think about any other thing... tomorrow is another brand new day...

yenny

inspiring lecturer =)

2010-12-17T20:09:00.004+08:00

Just came back from a gathering with a nice, helpful and inspiring lecturer, Dr Aye Aye Mint who is leaving us soon.. It was a great and memorable gathering.. thanks Madam for your precious advice and guidance... We will remember it always and be a good doctor =). I must start studying hard and smart already.. cannot waste time anymore... And I must always remember to stand back up after a fall.. regardless how many falls or how frequent it is...
To my darling, be strong and hang on there..rest.. and keep going.. You WILL do well.. I have faith in you and you have faith in yourself too!
Tonight shall continue writing my last case and do my slide presentation if possible..

yenny

reflection...

2010-12-17T00:09:00.004+08:00

A thousand thoughts is racing through my mind... mixed feelings take control over the frontal lobes... haih... feel one kind after talking on the phone every night...though is a super short conversation every time.. No one to blame... flow with it.. flow with the time.. flow with the external elements of the world...face it.. bear with it... deal with it... but if no way out, flow with it... it works most of the time..... Time never stops...that's the good part of it.. Good or bad times will be ticking away whether u like it or not...He is busy, stressed up and fell sick already...but no time to get rest... probably that's the tough life awaiting a HO... I m feeling down and lost sometimes ...everything has gone hay wire.. my life is no longer as predictable and stable as last time.... i dunno when will i see him .. i dunno when will i get to talk as in really talk to each other telling him bout my life.. talking nonsense... what to do... HO life is horrible... many changes occur.. still adapting to it.. although i dun like changes. ... but nothing can be done...probably the worst thing is both of us have to struggle with the tough time separately... But I have faith that we will pull through this together...God bless.. lately every night coming back from library i have to psychotherapy myself..." Yenny, stand back up and continue studying.. be strong! Don't let other things pull you down.. Live tomorrow like a brand new day! Just concentrate on your work!"...
Writing my 3rd case.. struggling.. but i will be able to complete it...tml goin peringgit...
Pray for the good health of my dear and his brother.. Life it short, live it meaningfully--a reminder to all...

another day...

2010-12-16T00:41:00.002+08:00

Wednesday came to an end... Wednesday.. the weekday that i like the most.. the day which i get to rest in the afternoon, no need to go hospital.. just sit in the sports complex auditorium and listen to slides presentation... today i slept off few times during the session...
Today we had a morning session with Mr Soh.. I enjoyed the class.. Orthopaedics posting is going to end soon...time flies...i look at it zooming past... time is really an amazing entity at times...
After dinner, i went to library... spend the whole night there... heavy rain tonight.. weather is cool... I feel like wanna just walk or cycle or play under the rain.. but couldn't afford to get sick... i love listening to the rain melody...the rain shuts off all the other noises in the surrounding...leaving me and the rain...serene and tranquil...How much i wish i have a car here.. and how much i wish there is a sea nearby with strong waves...i love listening to the sea...the waves...
Nowadays i do not dare to lie down staring at the ceiling and do nothing... I will just try to keep myself occupied most of the time.. thank god that my college library open until 12 midnight.. and recently received a good news that library will be open on saturday 9-12pm...
Feel really tired but force myself to keep moving on..
Shall continue writing the cases and sleep....

yenny

day by day...

2010-12-15T01:08:00.004+08:00

Yesterday (14 Dec 2010) was my dearest' 26th birthday...Happy Birthday to you Darling...
However again this year we do not have the opportunity to celebrate it together... probably next year we will... *fingers crossed*..=) Because of the horrendous housemanship, on this day, I do not get to see him.. not even online... could barely chat for 5 minutes...I know he is really tired after work.. this year I do not get to wish him directly...
It has just been 3 days ... I already feel it... the impact... However I keep telling myself every morning.. be strong.. be independent... live today as it is.. it will be a better day... whenever i m tired, i tell myself the same thing again and again and drag myself up and continue my work regardless how the external environment is.. Tonight am supposed to finish writing my case.. but as I was lying on the bed just now after talking on the phone, again the feeling of exhaustion and numbness overwhelmed me.. I can feel my heart pounding... the heart really aches like a crying heart but it just feels so numb... This feeling is so familiar... I know.. I know it will go away after awhile.. with a little determination... It is just like when u were small, u fell down and hurt yourself.. but with a little coaxing from your dear mummy and daddy, u will stand up again...You might fall down again and again.. but with little support u are back standing up...However when we were small or I would say when we were well protected at home, we actually took all these support for granted... A person would truly understand the significance of "moral support" only when we experienced its loss at the time we need it most... To me, the word "moral support" used to be just a nice term for me to write in essays in school... only in recent years.. slowly i really understand how important it is to a person...
I shall continue my cases and sleep...the caffeine keeps me awake but i still feel tired...
Tomorrow will be another hectic day for me and darling..
Enjoy ur work dear...Take care...

yenny

friday night...

2010-12-04T00:43:00.003+08:00

Today morning psychiatry case presentation went well.. thanks to Dr R for his guidance and encouragement... MCQ in the afternoon just hope for the best... that's the end of my psychiatry posting...I enjoyed this posting.. came back room... rested awhile... cycled to xinho for dinner with jennie.. then i went to library...i just do not want to stay in room because it makes me sad...forcing myself to just sit and study.. and keep myself occupied with books and nothing else... friday night=library..it is pathetic i know.. but i hope i will be numbed by this routine very soon..reminds me of my manipal time.. I sat there till 11.15pm then i left... i love cycling at night in campus under the moon and stars..with the cold breeze and quiet surroundings... i came back to the room... online... and there ends my day... i wish i have a peaceful sleep tonight...

yenny

to ventilate...

2010-12-03T00:04:00.003+08:00

just came back from library... supposed to continue reading psychiatry for tomorrow end posting... but the heart feels so congested til i could hardly breathe.. couldn't be bothered anymore about tomorrow test.. i need to vent it out.. but no souls around... within the four walls...i could only pen it down in words.. and the mind feels so numb.. have been controlling the emotion the whole night..for the past few days.. for the past one week.. it is tiring.. but i have no choice.. i know it is going to be worst if i let the mood "devil" take a roller coaster ride within me.. everyone expects rational.. understanding.. patience.. independence and rational again.. I would say i have become an emotionless person again at this point of time.. But this tough period of time again have forced me to think deeply about many things in my life... issues like what i really want in life..in relationship...certain important decisions in life.. advantages and disadvantages etc again resurfaced...is it a committed stable relationship till death do us apart.. with a sense of security that i m looking for.. ... or freedom.... or just puppy love with just mere promises... .. Again and again i was reminded tat maintaining a relationship is not easy and life is not always going to be how u want it to be... many at times, it will go against u, u need to abide to family members and culture.. at the end of the day I knew many things are out of my control and I have learnt to just be patient and flow with time... let the time take charge.. and pray to god and let nature take its course.. I have slowly surrendered my life to destiny...
Shall continue to read so that wont fail tomorrow...
thanks Jennie for accompanying me whole night in library...

yenny

A New Phase of Life

2010-12-01T22:38:00.003+08:00

Hi everyone! i am officially a houseman at Alor Star General Hospital now,and i expect to live 2 years of tough life here before i rejoin MINDEF as a military medical officer. and yenny is in her final year of medical school . Please pray for us and wish us luck! Thank you!

unhappiness

2010-08-14T15:06:00.002+08:00

i have never seen a single soul since last night... never step out from my room since last night.. never talk a single word.. slept from 11pm yesterday till 3 pm today. ate 2 pieces of bread and few sips of water.. the amount of stress and work load and loneliness make me feel like not wanting to do anything, just want to hide myself in room and rot.
Heard a phrase from a fren "hidupku tanpa arah tanpa tujuan"....it best describes me.

Y

saturday..

2010-07-31T21:08:00.002+08:00

How i wish my sat night can be more interesting... rather than just sitting in room... however am glad that get to go out eat and chat with frens during lunch and dinner at least.. today basically just spend time sleeping... hope i continue sleeping... boring life

emptiness

2010-07-30T16:01:00.002+08:00

Friday again.. weekend starts.. supposed to be happy.. but i m not.. This friday is so much different from last friday.. still remembered last friday , that afternoon .. i was so excited and happy and looking forward for class to end and happily walking back to hostel.. I was anticipating something over the weekend.. But today, I feel so dull, classes just dragged on.. i just sat there passively listening to watever the ppl infront gonna told..then PBL ended early, i roamed around to library, just dunno where to go, dun wish to come back to hostel facing the 4 walls, I have nothing to look forward this weekend..only knew i HAVE to go hos tml morning to clerk case.. coz endposting coming.. and i HAVE to write 2 gynae cases... at the end i went into the library to disturb KL.. then after she went to class, i have no choice but walked back to hostel.. and now me sitting in front of PC staring blankly on it.. expressing myself rather than forcing myself to swallow all in...

A great weekend...

2010-07-25T11:58:00.002+08:00

I had spent a great time with sis and bf over the weekend in malacca.. We went to visit pekle and peknin, went to jonker... shopping.. movie.. enjoying food =) Glad to see pekle recovering well.. hope that he will be healthy back again.. and i bought a pair of shoes and hand bag(finally!) soososo happy... beloved sis bought a lot of chopsticks.. and my dear bf got himself a watch ...miss them soo much.. gotta start writing my cases.. gambate yenny!!

future

2010-07-22T00:12:00.004+08:00

tonight just so many things cross my mind... Feel a bit moody actually.. THousand and one questions appear in my mind..... What do I want in life... what m i waiting for... should i start planning my life... how i want my life to be like in near future and ten twenty years down the lane.....do i want it to be like now...if i were to plan, wil i get upset if the plan doesnt work out.. should i jsut apply wait&see policy...etc etc etc etc// I have answers to some but not all... having headache now... wanna just dissapear in the sleep detached from reality for awhile ...

yenny

all alone...

2010-07-21T23:40:00.003+08:00

Again the feeling of loneliness creeps in insideously... I just hate it, yet couldnt control it... It is a sign of stupid exams approaching... All i do is I try to numb myself with books... But sometimes when I come back to the room at night from library..sitting infront of laptop.. staring into it...and also into the books of course... occasionally wil scroll down my msn contacts just to see who is online...and also turn on skype and leave it there.. as if waiting for anyone maybe my cousins/ siblings wil drop me a msg... It is just so pathetic.. .I try not to stay in the room for too long... alone within the four walls swallowing the books.... I just feel not happy.. I just couldnt help it ... Many times i asked myself.. is this the life i want...the answer is no.. I swear to myself that once i passed out, i wil try my best not to return to such pathetic life again.. unless so called growing up can drill a person to stand loneliness.. I just wanna sleep... but 3 cases need to be done..I m not scared... i know no matter wat i wil have to write it by sunday all by myself alone within the 4 walls.

yenny

All the best sis!!

2010-07-12T23:59:00.003+08:00

Wishing sis all the best in exam... wil pray for u always...dun worry and just try ur best! we all wil be here for u.. Be confident that u can do it =)

yenny

=)

2010-07-12T23:45:00.003+08:00

He has come back home for good finally.. Has been spending a lot of quality time together for the past 2 weeks...It was great and memorable .. but somehow the happy moments in life tend to pass very fast.. weekend ends, that is when we have to say good bye again.. which i hate most...eventhough tat is only temporary goodbye .. I just miss him more and more nowadays ... Have faith that one day in life we dun have to say good bye anymore... love u darling...

yenny

help...

2010-06-23T00:19:00.003+08:00

i could not stand it anymore.. really very stressed.. start thinking nonsense..please god clear my mind of those bad nonsense thing.. calm me down.. please calm my mind.. dunno where to read wat to read wat to cover how to read.. is like waiting for sentencing tml morning.. gotta get up at 5.45, leavinto muar... it is just an endposting, but the stress is overwhelming and affecting me so much in all aspects esp mentally .. more stress gonna come in the next 3 months.. wil i survive through it.. how bout next year.. same stress gonna reappear in final mbbs.. then in future.. more stress gonna come.. working life .. family life.. wil i be fit for it.. wil i be fit to be a good daughter, a good mother.. or should i escape and put a stop to all this.. but i have some commitments in life that force me not to give up ..keep striving til i m really fatigue... rather than making everyone unhappy, should i just remain alone and do no harm... afterall life is temporary, everyone wil return to HIM one day...cool down and dun think of anything anymore.. just let it go.. let it go.. have faith in HIM that He wil protect and assist me in life..

hurdles to clear...

2010-06-19T19:05:00.003+08:00

every time every year i must be forced to sit for some exams b4 i m allowed to see him..why so? why must i be tortured this way again and again? i dun understand...and i wil never understand ...i just miss him so much but in order to meet him again, i must go thru the agony of exams..getting stressed ..sad.. fear of failing...and bring sorrow to everyone around esp him.. life is never a bed of roses..
i love him dearly.. though i am always sad and make him sad.. at times i decided to keep to myself at best as i could in order not to make him frustrated...love u dear

misery

2010-06-19T18:18:00.003+08:00

haven left the room for the past 7 hours... it is all because of the stupid exams after exams...stress is building up in me tremendously..i could just cry silently... it just reminds me of manipal again... the many consecutive nights.. when uni exams were approaching.. for months...everynight when coming back from library around 11.30.. walking up the stairs alone in indira hostel.. my mind during those moments are just so fatigue ..and blank...a lil more stimulus the tears would just flow...but i dun care coz normally during those hours, only the local indians wil be studying along the corridors... but thinking back, i am glad i survived thru the 2 major uni exams there though with bad results..i dun care anymore... another 2 pending here... now is the 3rd one which is eating me up slowly and silently... sometimes ppl wil jsut tell u try ur best do ur best.. but noone ever wil sit down with u and guide u 24 hrs til the day of exam.. i know this is impossible ..it is all just dreams ..coz everyone expect u to be independent at this age.. blame the age!.. how i wish i m stil back in school having tuition teachers tell u to do this do that..u jsut need to follow..watever doubt they give u answer..they tell u how to study etc etc.. anyway again it is all in dream and fantasy world... i jsut hate being a grown-up! i just hate exams! the hatred is so much so that i dun even care whether i wil be a safe doc anymore.. !!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just want to pass exam and escape from this HELLL. next mon surgery block test, wed endposting exam which i really wish to have the feeling of " i will only do wat i know, u want to shout at me, embarass me.. fail me , jsut do it, i dun care " i dun mind being shouted in wards with millions of eyes looking at me.. etc etc...but i just dun want to fail p2s1..p2s1 has become like the reason why i live at the moment..it is just so pathetic.. but the consequences of dropping batch is full of agony.... after ranting.. routines continue til i m torn apart...tonight have to continue reading again.. thanks SC for bringing me out from my room for dinner later..

Final Semester

2010-02-08T03:08:00.003+08:00

After 5.5 years of hardwork(or not, or maybe not so much), my med school life is about to end. I have another 5months to spend here, final government exams to clear,and i shall bid goodbye to my med school and start my new phase life., housemanship . I would like to wish my batchmates from VSMU, good luck and strive hard in your final sem!

wonderful saturday morning...

2010-01-30T11:00:00.002+08:00

Had a great night yesterday with frens....just had dinner together...chatting..watching movie on laptop...making fun of each other.. laughing..hanging around at fren's house til midnight...came back..sleep...
This morning, as usual, cycled for breakfast with my loyal breakfast mates...walked around the stalls...then came back..did my laundry....and shall start studying now... Looking at the ENT books, feel like wanna vomit...but no choice..having viva this coming fri..i wont want to fail...so shut my mouth and force myself to study...
May God provide me strength to keep moving on...

yenny

weekends here...

2010-01-29T16:24:00.003+08:00

Came back from class... on fri evenings....sometimes i feel really excited but sometimes i feel kinda lost everytime i step into the room after class on fri evening ...I feel excited whenever i have plans waiting for me over the weekend..either taking bus back to hometown.. or just merely taking bus to kl to see my sis..hanging around..watching movies..eating... doin something different.. or just some dinners or meetings with frens... or joining some group activities visiting places/ joining some voluntary activities..any outings...or helping out in any activities etc.... But too bad, many at times , i know i need to study which is my priority at this point of time...i cant socialize too much..i dun have the "capability" to devote too much time in non-academic activities......prob i m a slow learner.. there are just too much work piled up for me which needs to be settled over the weekend ...i would like to just avoid and ignore it and do things that i probably like more.. to relax....but i know that is not the solution...running away is never an option. ..those end of posting exam, P2 S1 exam, final exam....scary professors and lecturers...dun want to be looked down upon..dun want to be humiliated...most importantly i dun want to harm patients in future... all these make me sit back on my desk and open the books...So, i would just accept that..no choice..I have chosen this path..I never regret though...i m still very clear of why i chose med but at times rantings..complains..sighings will be there... i need to study...be independent...be strong...esp mentally... dun ever depend on others.. ..prob if i m staying at home, i wont feel so bored and lost...i miss those times when every night after studying ...parents will bring us out for supper...there is always something for us to look forward to...last time i have taken all these for granted...but now i realise i should appreciate all those moments...but now..staying away from home...after u study days after days..who cares whether u are tired..u r hungry etc..noone will ask u whether u want to eat this or ask u whether u want to drink something.....Many wil think i m a over- pampered kid....I would just say i have great parents.. i know myself that life is no longer a bed of roses.. i have to grow up.. and i m growing up...by knowing the cruelties of life.. But at the same time, I remind myself to appreciate those small little things around me...the ppl esp.. Tend to get upset and feel down and lost when alone... trying hard to overcome that... Now....nothing really interesting in my life... ....exam period..study...when alone and really bored and lost....study.....study , study and study..huh!which i think slowly i have used it to numb myself...Really want to tell my mum and dad that i love u all... shall stop ranting....relax...pull myself back up and keep fighting... just got a msg from a fren inviting for dinner...feel better now =)

yenny

tired...

2010-01-15T13:36:00.003+08:00

It has come to the end of first week of ENT posting.... sometimes quite bored coz did not get to go to hospital yet.. Still, i feel so tired... This morning had skills session, practising among ourselves...was fun..get to laugh, tease and joke with each other... Back to the room...alone.. feel sleepy... couldnt wait to leave for KL later in the evening to meet my aunt&uncle, sis, and cousins..hopefully i will be rejuvenated over the weekend.. hopefully i wil get the family-love that i need it most... How I wish i will be pampered, protected, be given all the attention, care, concern etc etc like a baby and will never be hurt... But, that will never come true again.. you will only be a baby once in ur life...supposed to pack..but feel tired...probably i shall just lie and sleep, leaving this worrisome reality world for a moment ..back to my own comfort zone... where noone wil judge you...

yenny

...

2010-01-01T23:05:00.003+08:00

time for bed...
tml saturday...most prob will spend my day in the state library...
CNY hope it comes fast... hope my aunty uncle faster come KL..so i can go to kl...

yenny

Start anew...

2010-01-01T20:26:00.003+08:00

Happy New year to all....
Today is the first day in a brand new year...a public holiday..a day to have fun and enjoy..
yet, for me, it is just like any other day...no difference..routine life...how much I wish another cousin of mine would get married this weekend, so i can go home and have a great time like last weekend...anyway..is all wishes, wishes and wishes...
Anyway I m grateful that god has been nice to me though today... A good fren of mine agreed to play squash with me early this morning... happy that my invitation did not get rejected...the whole sports complex was empty..only 2 of us and the guard.. we had a good game then we went to have breakfast together using my bicycle, chitchatting along the way.. A nice cool quiet morning with a fren...Then came back.. cleaning up the room... fell asleep..then another fren asked to go out to study...spend few hours at that place studying n talking when bored ...then went for dinner and finally came back... Will be sleeping in few more hours time...the end of the day, period.
In this new year, I would like to understand myself better, be stronger..be independent... and seek for the meaning of life..

yenny

A Teacher

2009-11-08T02:14:00.004+08:00

Tonight suddenly i am thinking of a teacher. He isn't just a normal teacher,but in fact he's a great and inspiring teacher. He teaches and he inspires. Though he last taught me when i was in 2ndary school, somehow his voice vividly plays in my mind. Perhaps other than Chemistry and Biology, there's something else bond us , the students and the teacher together. I guess ex-Dermarians would know who's this teacher, and what bonds him and the students. Just wanna let you Sir, i will always remember you in my prayer and wish you well...

Sincerely from an ex-student of yours...

confused...

2009-10-25T19:25:00.002+08:00

At times i really wonder wat frens meant actually...shouldn't they lend a helping hand when the other one needs it...or be a nice host in order to make the other 's person stay enjoyable...? i m just confused...probably i should just not hoping too much...

yenny

Random update

2009-10-21T23:08:00.004+08:00

Be frank, 1st time i felt that i am in a university after studying for so many years. I feel i have missed out so much, just simply because i had the opportunity to attend 2 short lectures by Prof. Pieter van der Bijl from South Africa. IMHO, these lectures were meant for students doing pharmacy,yet i enjoyed them. Grabbed few photos from my friend, Mozac who took all these wonderful photos. Enjoy them folks!

That's me .hehe.

Introduction speech by our vice-rector , Prof. Spasov

The hall

Prof. Rietel van der Bijl, guest lecturer from South Africa

2009-10-14T18:50:00.000+08:00

Risk Poetry Guest Author - Danielle Hollister

RISK TAKING IS FREE...

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool;
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental;
To reach out for another is to risk involvement
To expose feeling is to risk exposing your true self.

To place your ideas and your dreams
before the crowd is to risk their loss
To love is to risk not being loved in return
To live is to risk dying
To hope is to risk despair
To try is to risk failure.

But risk must be taken,
because the greatest hazard in life
is to risk nothing
The person who risks nothing, does nothing,
has nothing and is nothing;
They may avoid suffering and sorrow,
but they simply cannot learn,
feel change, grow, love, Live
Chained by their certitude, they are a slave,
they have forfeited freedom;
Only the person who risks is free.

~~ Author Unknown ~~

=(

2009-10-14T18:08:00.003+08:00

Just need to vent it out!!!! my mood has been fluctuating greatly..moments ago in class while daydreaming..thanks to the bored seminar...i actually feel excited and happy thinking that this wil be the last year of separation from my dear...cant wait for next july to arrive.. the same feeling i had since i came back to malaysia..wonderful feelings...thinking of that brights up day and makes me eagerly waiting for every day to come... but within a couple of hours, due to accidentally discussed bout some old irritating issue, I become angry, feel hurt and sadness creeps in..at that moment, i feel like noone really cares for me, noone relaly bothers whether i m happy or sad...prob thats is true in real life...noone actaully cares whether u are happy or not..
sometimes i do wonder why gals gets jealous easily than the male counterpart.....
...surfing the net...then study.....life....

A long weekend gonna starts tml... Happy Diwali to all!

yenny

Just a rant

2009-10-06T17:46:00.003+08:00

I am about to rant in this blog after such a long absence! I don't understand, i don't know how... Somehow going to gynae class, especially when the teacher teaches fully(or 99%) in Russian, i feel really exhausted, tired and hopeless. It's her good intention to prepare us for our final year government exam, perhaps it's simply too intensive for me.Sometimes i wish i can go back to the past,and rectify mistakes and fumbles i had made. But everyone knows that it's just a silly and impossible thought,as i think there are many people who have the same thought. I have gone through this far, and 9 months left before getting my degree(hopefully), and i know it's a crucial time for me to buck up for my final exams and housemanship. Gotta keep reminding myself, 'What i am facing right now, is nothing to compare with what i am gonna face in the future'. Knowing some seniors got posted to their respective hospital for housemanship, congrats to those who got their choice,and to those who didn't, cheer up, it's not the end of the world,after 2 years you are still the man(woman)! At the same time, i have to think seriously where should i apply, somewhere near to home,somewhere near to my gf? Haha..have no idea right now...

happy mooncake festival!

2009-09-24T12:05:00.001+08:00

Be grateful always,

for everything and everyone,

at every moment.

~Jing Si Aphorisms by Master Cheng Yen

A new semester begins...

...yenny

start anew..

2009-09-01T09:06:00.002+08:00

Having wasted the whole night, it is time to regain my composure and start studying..Everyday is a brand new day...make full use of it...Surgery exam is in the afternoon...wish me luck ppl...thanks!

yenny

wish to be home...

2009-08-31T19:58:00.002+08:00

i cant take this anymore...luckily there are stil tv rooms in hostel...place for me to escape to.. exam period is the most lonely period which i hate most which makes me homesick most... some ppl like to study alone...some do not ( i m one of them), some lucky ones get to study with company but some do not depending to the group of frens u have... i miss my school time when i was staying at home...studying at home...i will never be left alone...thanks to sis, bro n yao....really miss those time everynight we study together...on weekends or during study break we wil be together since morning... though last time i used to complain them noisy... ask them to shut up sometimes.. esp sis and yao fighting over some gossips...some artiste issues which have nothing to do with them... but now i really miss that a lot....at least that time when bored i could kacau them...talked nonsense...made fun of ppl.. laughed...chased each other..fought for chinese entertainment newspaper everynight when mum came back though all of us can hardly read mandarin...all those memories...has been years ago...since me and Yao left high school, we never study together again..left sis and bro...and now bro alone... Ah Yao and sis has alredy graduated..time flies..i miss all of u...

yenny

2009-08-28T22:03:00.011+08:00

" Live in such harmony that others may take your lives for an example and may say one to another: Look how they live like two doves in one nest, in perfect love, affinity and union. It is as though God had kneaded the very essence of their beings for the love of one another."

.....excerpt from an interesting webpage....

http://www.docstoc.com/docs/7836659/Bahai-Marriage-(Chinese)

Yesterday was our 3rd Anniversary.... =) May God bless us along the way...

My dear now is in Moscow waiting 20++ hours for the domestic flight to Volgograd...Hope he has a safe journey...

with love...

weekend...

2009-08-28T16:09:00.003+08:00

Feel soo nice after cleaning up the whole room...=) Hope medicine paper this morning turn out ok ...couldnt wait to start my holiday next week...Bali here i come ..
And i start missing him dy... Another 10 months gonna be fast =) gonna go pasar ramadhan...

yenny

be strong...

2009-08-28T00:30:00.004+08:00

I will be having med sessional tml morning...yet i m here wasting time...I cant concentrate...i need to talk but I have to suppress myself...i hate myself...my emotions are like in a turmoil...hate these feelings.... whether is it PMS...i dunno....i m getting very oversensitive lately...i got sad easily...it is just not convenient for me to talk...this is not the first time neither wil it be the last time...I need to talk...i need console.. i dun want to be treated coldly like a stranger...i know it is no one's fault...sometimes human gets tired..sometimes circumstanses just dun allow it..i know life is never prefect.. I have accepted it... but, I still cant control my emotions..God, assist me..give me strength to go thru all these...Pray to god...i want to be a strong gal...i want to be independent...i dun want to get affected by ppl easily....i have stil a lot to cover for tml....calm down and study....tomorrow's wil be a better day...

hope u r by my side at this moment,
yenny

missing u...

2009-08-26T21:49:00.002+08:00

2 months have passed without me realising it....you are goin back to complete ur studies very soon.. is just too fast....really hoping that time stops temporarily...it feels like is just yesterday when I was waiting excitedly for u to come home... then after waiting for a torturing long week.. again i was so excited to meet u in melaka sentral on that particular friday evening, after almost a year we are apart.. I miss this summer a lot...longest time ever that we get to accompany each other...Have a safe journey back dear..i m goin to miss u terribly...=)

love u,
yenny

excited!

2009-08-05T12:40:00.003+08:00

Couldnt wait for next week!!..never been to any water park b4...this will be my first time to Bukit Merah Laketown Resort...so soo sooo happy..hehe...
gotta prepare for my PBL now...concentrate and study study hard now...then go for holiday!

yenny

determination...

2009-08-02T21:35:00.002+08:00

Tml wil be my last posting in semester 6..medicine..hopefully can proceed to next sem succesfully..tml wil be getting Dr Anoop for our clinic's session..we all like him a lot..a young smart charismatic doctor..who can deliver his class very well...I like the way he speaks..full with confidence...
I need to get back my confidence, my determination, and discipline...life is indeed tough..

yenny

Sunday morning...

2009-08-02T09:50:00.005+08:00

Early in the morning, junling and I and jj went to xinho for breakfast and shopping for fruits...then came back to room, bathed and gonna continue my med sdl.. Sometimes, i keep thinking...am i overly sensitive..easily get affected..i got sad whenever i feel that ppl who are important in my life get angry with me..treating me coldly..ignoring me.. probably this is not the real situation..probably I have been thinking too much..and there are other reasons behind the coldness..ignorance etc....i keep reassuring myself..i know I wont be wrong...i have confidence in myself and my loved ones... I admit that I am the typical little gal who wants to be coaxed always...I dun wish my loved ones raise their voice to me or treating my coldly..though i know sometimes is all my fault and they did that out of good intention when i do something wrong...yet i just cant help it...i got really upset...wil just drown myself and go to sleep... manytimes I hope I can make myself stronger.. no matter who scolds me, I wont give a damn bout it ..just like how i m immuned to strangers' scolding, they wont be able to affect me.. On the other hand, I dun want that to occur...i dun want to be a feeling-less person..is just too pathetic...even animals have feeling...Probably I become wat i am today because I have a very protective family esp mum & dad who wil never let me get hurt..and now is the time for their little gal to go out and experience the cruelty of life..yet whenever i m unhappy...they are always there for me and told me "dun be scared..dun bother other ppl..nothing wil happen"...Those simple words give me lots of courage..i dun even scared of anyone anymore...i stil remember the first time when i had that wonderful feeling..it was when I was 16..goin for the motorbike licensing examination back home..the instructors keep shouting at me because I am inexperienced..I got upset, embarrased , and feel like dun wanna go for further sessions and dun wanna take bike license anymore...Normally i wil just keep it to myself.. One day, I cant stand it anymore..i told my dad that person is a real idiot keep shouting at me...dad told me dun bother bout him..let him shout..just let it go in 1 ear go out another .. he cant do anything to me...then after the session go home..dun let it affect me...Since then, I dunno where i gain the courage to face those ppl... They just did not be able to affect me anymore..whenever they scold i wil start dreaming..haha...feel so puas!!
Gotta go pick up a fren from bus station then to lunch later...Sunday..weekend gonna ends soon..is just too fast... Lately, I seem to have tremendous swings of emotion...make myself suffer and hurt ppl around me also...I am very sorry ..esp to my dear who has to bear all these... I am angry at u sometimes but... wanna tell u that you still hold the only special position in my heart..Have a safe journey back home..

with love,
yenny

saturday morning...

2009-08-01T08:37:00.001+08:00

Raining heavily...waiting for it to stop so that we can cycle out to xinho...
another brand new day..study hard and be happy =)

yenny

wish to be loved and cared always...

2009-07-31T23:21:00.003+08:00

today after class, my squashmates all this weekend went home...in the evening Steph and i went to the malacca botanical garden..then to jusco to buy fish and durian..then steph cooked porridge for me..so nice of her...ate together.. then came back again to my own room within the 4 walls...alone...i miss my parents .. my childhood..my time at home...there are always so many ppl in lempang who never let me feel lonely..and..protecting me from getting hurt..
feeling so moody again...and unhappy...i m like losing my pillar of support..i dunno wat i want anymore..i m confused...but i dunno wat i m confused with..i m just tired..i just wanna go home and be the free little gal once upon a time.. May God provide me some guidance to lead my life meaningfully without getting affected by other ppl...

yenny

random...

2009-07-24T20:18:00.003+08:00

"You will never hope/crave for things you never had before." It's just soo true...

~yenny~...missing home

wonderful memories...

2009-07-21T19:53:00.004+08:00

For the past 10 days, i have been having a great time with my dear and my family.... feel sad to come back to lonely dull routine life again... Those sweet memories will etch forever in my heart... is time to go back to the books again... jiayou and be strong to both of us! May god bless and assist us along the way... hope, pray & work together for the future that we are always looking forward to ... =)
yenny

My 1st Time

2009-06-04T03:10:00.003+08:00

Imagine you are touching a beating heart, pulsating aorta, and all other organs in thorax and abdomen, how would you feel? Few days back,while i was having my oncology cycle, my teacher brought us to observe an operation by the head of department. In the OT, there was a patient with a large stomach cancer, and the surgeons were going to perform total gastrectomy and lower oesophageal resection due to malignant infiltration ,and then oesophagojejunal anastomosis. In the midst of operation, the head surgeon suddenly asked if anyone is interested in palpating the tumour. Spontaneously i raised my hand ,followed by another friend. After changing and waiting anxiously, finally the moment arrived. The head surgeon was so nice by showing us every organ in the thorax and abdomen, heart, lung, stoamch, liver, spleen.... Adrenaline rush , that's what i could use to explain how i felt that time. Felt the rhythm of a beating heart, pulsating aorta, a stomach tumour... Guess what, after that, my teacher jokingly asked me if i changed my mind to pursue my career in surgical field , as i told him during our 1st class that i m interested in internal medicine. Well, after this experience, i guess i have another option in my mind :-D.

Found a flat!

2009-05-24T15:54:00.003+08:00

For the past 5 months i had always thought that i could stay in the hostel till i graduate next year, without having to go through the hassles of searching for a flat and moving again. But
confirmed news of putting 4 people in a hostel room and possible hostel fee increment had made me pondered over my initial decision and after much consideration, i decided to move out (praying hard this will be my last moving in Volgograd). After 3 days of searching, we ended up getting a flat near Yeletskaya street. Though this flat doesn't come cheap, it's absolutely a nice flat. I would say it's one of the best i have seen in Russia. Anyway, next year would be my last year in Volgograd, hopefully i will enjoy my stay in Volgograd with my new housemates, Ms.LYJ and Miko . Exams approaching, gotta study and watch less TVB series already.haha

Random update

2009-05-14T03:03:00.004+08:00

I had ambulance exam today. Seriously i think the examiners really lack of professionalism. The moment i entered the exam hall, i had been hearing voices of that particular lady, who just kept rushing us to finish our exam. And i shall finish my final exams on 1st July, and will fly back to Malaysia on 3rd July. Since yesterday, my mind had been thinking what to eat the moment i step onto Malaysia. Perhaps like this, Nasi Kandar for dinner, Bah Kut Teh for breakfast, curry mee for lunch? Hehe...Anyway, i am not worried, as i have nearly 2 months in Malaysia and for sure i will get to taste all the food i want. Btw, Satria Neo CPS is out, don't you think they look gorgeous and sporty? It's a car that i wish to have, but will never have it as i am aware of the consequences of buying it. Haha

happy day!

2009-04-15T19:40:00.003+08:00

Today is Malacca Historical Day..so it is a public holiday here...But since it is on wed, it doesnt make much difference to us coz we cant go anywhere far though..So, just spent time sleeping and resting today..
And, today I m very happy =) because my dear bought me a gift which i have yearned for long...Couldnt wait to get it....=)
Shall start studying dy...
My Medicine posting will end this week..next will be Community MEdicine..heard that it is fun too... Throughout this 4weeks medicine posting, I enjoyed it a lot... I learnt a lot, not only academically, but also certain things in life which I always take it for granted..I m glad that patients taught me a lot.. I begin to understand what is a good doctor...what is empathy is all about and what actually the patient wants/hopes from the doctor... or as a medical student now, what can I do at least to make them more comfortable...I realise now that mere sitting there and listening to their problems will give them some strength to move on.. I hope God will help them along the way.... :-)

yenny

When you call for emergency service

2009-04-06T22:00:00.003+08:00

Imagine a scenario, while you walking on the street, you encounter an accident, involving multiple vehicles, and the scene is bloody. And you call the 999 service in M'sia, what is the 1st thing you gonna say? What happen? How many people involved? Dr. Chew has posted a useful mnemonics in his blog. When you call next time, just remember use the mnemonic ETHANE.
What' does ETHANE stand for?

E = Exact Location - The precise location of the incident

T = Type - The nature of the incident (trauma, non-trauma, heart atack, motor-vehicle accident), including how many vehicles, buildings etc. are involved

H = Hazards - Both present and potential (e.g., explosion, spillage of combustible materials, highly volatile hydrocarbons, chemicals, etc)

A = Access - Best route for emergency services to access the site, or obstructions and bottlenecks to avoid

N = Numbers - Numbers of Casualties, Dead and Uninjured on scene

E = Existing Emergency Services - Which services are already on scene, and which others are required - s0 as not to duplicate services, and for better utilization of services in other concurrently emergency happenings.

Remember this mnemonic and make a proper call to the ambulance service in case you need to in the future. You will never know that by providing accurate and necessary information, you might save a life/lives !By the way, don't make prank calls!

Are you prepared to be a doctor?

2009-04-06T00:14:00.002+08:00

Came across this post ' Are you prepared to be a doctor' by Dr.Hsu. A big thank goes to Doracrates for telling. Seriously, i have never thought of some of the questions posted by Dr.Hsu. How about you? Below are the questions :

For those who are going into medicine, ask yourself:

Is it for money you are entering the field of medicine , or is it really for the love of helping people and alleviate sufferings?

Can you be patient enough to sit there for 60 minutes listening to an old lady telling the woes of her family ? Can you be human enough to comfort her,holding her, even when she smells and stinks ?

Can you stand the chores of standing there for over 10 to 20 hours to do or assist in an operation without asking to be relieved, since chances are there would be no one to relieve you?

Can you stand working from 8am in the morning on a Saturday and finish work at 4.30pm the next Monday (that was the weekend call I personally went through)?

Are you prepared to be on call for 24/7/365 a year , if you are the only doctor in town in some of the rural areas?

Are you prepared to face SARs or Ebola patients coming to your clinic to consult you without you scooting off from the back door? (During the SARS scare, doctors carried on seeing patients like normal, even though anyone with fever could be a SARS patient and you would definitely be infected in the small confine of your consultation room if the patient that walked into your room was a SARS case)…

Are you prepared to handle excretions of patients such as stools, urine and vomitus, or physically handle a foul-smelling and maggot-infested wounds?Even if they cannot pay you?

Are you prepared to face a lifetime of learning since medical knowledge needs to be kept up to date ?

As a hypothetical question just to illustrate a point, are you prepared to treat someone who might have killed your loved ones? Medical ethics demand that you do..

If any of the answer is no, then medicine is not for you.

For full post, please read in Dr.Hsu's Forum.

患癌如生命歷劫•劉子賢更懂保健盡孝

2009-04-05T00:30:00.000+08:00

患癌如生命歷劫•劉子賢更懂保健盡孝
· 良醫
2008-03-19 22:49

· 如今劉子賢已精神奕奕，積極過健康的生活。

· 劉子賢：患癌前，我非常不孝，很少回家，母親開刀時，我只是寄錢給她；父親洗腎時，我也寄錢回家，以為這已是孝順。

· 劉子賢：很多人都不懂得預防的重要，患癌前叫他清早起來運動，他說：傻的，我不會多睡兩個鐘呀？可是患癌後，清晨5點太極，6點氣功，8點瑜伽……為什麼？怕死了啊！
（霹靂•太平）前NTV7新聞主播劉子賢於2003年12月初被證實患上生殖細胞癌，傷心欲絕的他差點就從醫院的窗口跳下去，所幸窗口細小，加上及時閱讀證嚴法師的《靜思語》讓他開悟，總算把往鬼門關裡跨的雙腳拉出來。之後，他進行3個月的化療，經歷生不如死的嘔黃膽汁、嘔血、便秘、排尿困難等後遺症。他也改為茹素，積極調整生活作息和情緒，最終重獲健康。說起這次的生命歷劫，劉子賢深深感悟：生病就是對雙親最大的不孝。
劉子賢在《光明日報•良醫下鄉》"生命的轉捩點"分享會上直言不諱說："了解我患癌症的過程後，保證你們這一輩子不敢患癌症！"
他表示，這過程非常非常的痛苦。2003年12月初，他仍是NTV7新聞主播。有一天他咳嗽，但咳嗽的感覺很不一樣，幾乎每一吋肺都在痛。他覺得不對勁，第二天馬上看醫生，並要求照X光。
"那醫生笑說，從來沒有人咳嗽一天就要照X光的。我說，你不用管我，我有錢，我要照X光。"
左支氣管有小白點
幸虧他堅持照X光，才儘早發現了他的支氣管左邊有小白點。當時醫生沒說什麼，但召來心臟和肺部專科醫生。
"我覺得奇怪，為什麼一個X光片需要兩位專科醫生看？接着，兩位醫生皺眉看看我，又皺眉對望。接着，醫生吩咐我數日後再回去做全身檢查。"
劉子賢表示，做全身檢查時，首先進行MRI（磁力共振影像）。他調侃，進行MRI的房間超舒服，穿上白色衣袍，躺在鐵片上，再被機器送進猶如"山洞"的洞口，像極了人死後被送進雪柜。
讀《靜思語》開悟
"過後，醫生說要切片，我以為醫生拿刀來切，豈料醫生拿出我從未見過最長最大的一支針，在沒有麻醉的情況下，直接從胸部插進我有腫瘤的地方。針插進時，基本上我已昏死過去！"
最後，他被確診患上生殖細胞癌。"我問醫生為何是我？醫生答說當然是你，不是你還有誰？接著，我問醫生醫療費多少？醫生說少則幾十千，多則百多千。最後我問我會死嗎？醫生答：Not sure。"
當時，他哭了，看到窗口很想跳下去。所幸，醫院的窗口細小，他跳不下去。他一直哭，後來隨手拿起《靜思語》一讀，結果他開悟了，不再尋死。
不顧身體等於不孝
"我12月中回檳城治療。一直以來，我很少回家，一回家我就告訴媽媽有事情告訴她。她笑得很開心，以為我要結婚，結果我不忍告訴她。吃飯時，我還是開不了口。那是2003年12月15日，我最後一次吃肉。吃完飯回到家，我告訴媽媽，我長了腫瘤，我媽問什麼是腫瘤？其實她是知道的，此刻她的臉部完全沒有表情，只說那就醫治啦！"
"那天晚上，我經過父母房間，關着的門傳出傷心的哭聲，哭聲令我很難過，這是我一輩子都無法忘記的。此時，我深深了解身體髮膚，受之父母，若沒有好好照顧身體，就是不孝。"
2003年12月16日，劉子賢第一次做化療。在等待時，一位伯伯教他一星期吃3條鰻魚，吃12個星期即可痊癒。子賢想到要犧牲36條魚的性命來換他的性命，他何德何能？於是立時決定茹素，直到今天。
全身腫脹嘔血
化療受盡苦頭
劉子賢坦承，化療令他流了不少淚。"針一插進我的血管，就會疼痛、腫脹、瘀青，那種疼痛是你們無法想像的。醫生看到我瘀青了，就從我的左手拔針出來，插入右手，一直換來換去。
我很感恩這雙手的血管可讓我用3個月，否則醫生就會在頸喉部裝個導管，這痛苦會更恐怖！"
另外，他也一直嘔吐。"我喝水吐水，吃飯嘔飯，總之吃什麼嘔什麼，嘔完所有的食物後就嘔黃膽汁，嘔完黃膽汁就嘔血。嘔血的感覺很恐怖，整個五臟六腑像被人捅了好多刀，一齊糾着痛。我就這樣嘔了3個多月的血。"
他說，患癌時，大小便也痛苦。尿急去廁所，站很久只尿出一兩滴，滴滴皆辛苦。他也很久沒有排便，有次插着針上廁所，結果一用力，針也飆出來，滿室都是血。
"化療後的第三個星期，我全身腫脹，長了好多黑斑，如今痊癒了仍殘留一些。這些黑斑提醒我一定要好好照顧身體。"
患病後領悟"前非"
遺憾眾人不懂保健
劉子賢表示，每個媽媽都不會放手讓孩子死去，但有次他在家裡吐血，覺得自己不行了，於是跟媽媽說：如果他死了，一定要放手，媽媽說好。"媽媽不忍心看到我受那麼多苦，寧願放手讓我離開，得到解脫。"
他表示，不需經過患癌的痛苦就能明白健康的重要是上等人。"我們跟死神搏鬥，撿回生命的是中等人，至於下等人已經死了，因為患癌了仍不願好好照顧身體。"
"我想，我這一輩子最大的福報是患癌症，它改變了我的一切，如生活方式。很多時候，生病並不是一件壞事，如果你懂得轉念，生病是不錯的事。現在，我每周探望病人時都很心痛，心痛他們不懂在患重病之後改變自己。"
慶幸仍可孝順父母
劉子賢坦承，患癌前他非常不孝，很少回家。母親開刀時，他沒有回家，只是寄錢給她；父親洗腎時，他也只是寄錢回家，以為這已算孝順。
"但當我患癌時，他們沒有只給我錢，然後叫我自己去醫院；相反地，無論爸爸洗腎多麼累，媽媽如何忙，他們每天都風雨不改地拿食物到醫院給我。如果一個人不懂得孝順父母，那他一輩子都沒有好日子過。我深深慶幸我懂得孝順的時候，爸爸媽媽還在。"
他說，3個月的化療耗掉7萬6000令吉，但感恩這7萬6000仍能夠換回他一命，畢竟很多人花了一大筆錢還是救不了自己。"不過，請記住，預防永遠勝於治療！"
光明日報•2008.03.16

blessed...

2009-04-04T23:35:00.000+08:00

Today I feel very happy, and feel that i m blessed and lucky to have mum and dad who love me unconditionally and make sure I lead a happy life... Today, I also had a long chat with my dear after a long time...It feels really good and I am blessed to have him with me all the times. He is the pillar of strength to me at my moments of weakness when I feel helpless, alone, scared of wat wil happen tomorrow... yet he never walked away...not even a single step. Though sometimes certain life event is really harsh, without that I would have never known who really care for me and learnt how to appreciate my loved ones ..Now, I m glad that I do...Thank god for bringing him to me...

yenny

holiday!

2009-04-02T22:05:00.000+08:00

First of all, Happy Naw Ruz to all Baha'is!!

Today is my second last day of holiday..3 weeks holiday passed so fast.. How I wish I have a longer holiday...After this I wont be having such a long holiday anymore :-( ... But, this holiday, I did a lot of things ...really had a great time. It started off with cousin's wedding...whereby many relatives..cousins came back....had a gathering in Ying's house..playing Wii..gambling..chatting...then off to Langkawi and Pulau Payar with Manda & Dhanesh...first time parasailing and snorkelling...then this year finally i managed to go chengbeng again after many years...we all were like picnicking together with Ah kong and Ah Po... Then during this holiday also, I took the opportunity to do something which i always wish to do..that is bringing my brother out for a day...watching movie, eating, walking around in shopping complex etc....This was the first time brother took a ferry to penang, it was also my first time getting to my grandparents' house by using public bus in penang...It was a wonderful experience for both of us...to go around penang using the bus =)

This post should be completed 2 weeks back..but then due to some problems, now only i manage to finish it....because today only i got my internet connection in my hostel

yenny

Post surgery cycle

2009-04-01T02:43:00.002+08:00

Post surgery cycle night. Feel great to have Dennis Sergeivich as my teacher for this semester. He really brought us around to see patients, and what's important is he is among the few teachers which really emphasizes on bedside manners. Tomorrow will begin intensive therapy,which is my favorite in this semester. Anyway, today on the bus i failed to recognize a visually-impaired young man who was standing on a congested bus. Who recognized him? An old lady , who stood up and led him to an empty seat later. At that moment i just felt guilty and embarassed of myself. And i told myself, ' Be more observant next time , and you can always help someone in need'...

POTS effect

2009-03-27T03:21:00.003+08:00

Recently 2 posts about Ukrainian and Russian medical graduates by POTS generated alot of responses from his readers, and became a hot topic among the students studying in Russian Medical Schools, as well as doctors in Malaysia. And today Palmdoc posted the same thing on MMR.
By talking to few friends, some responded with anger and curses ( like 'Anonymous' who commented in POTS's post). Some were saddened, couldn't accept the fact. Well, there are students who accepted the criticisim. At this point, while scolding and cursing at POTS, don't the students think it's time to think on what can they do, and what should they do to improve themselves? Only by accepting criticism and willing to learn , then only we can improve. Afterall, i believe POTS just voiced out his experience and opinions. Just wanna end this post with few words by a senior who graduated last year:
- 'Be humble and willing to learn' - by Dr. E.N

p/s: Before you guys bombard me, just wanna clarify that i am not related to POTS + i am also a Russian medical student,and have no intention to degrade anyone.

Happy Naw Ruz

2009-03-20T04:03:00.005+08:00

Happy Naw Ruz to all Baha'is who will be celebrating Naw Ruz (Baha'i New Year) after fasting for 19 days ,which lasts from 2nd March to 21st March every year. Hereby i would like to share a Baha'i prayer on this special occasion.

Praised be Thou, O my God, that Thou hast ordained Naw-Rúz as a festival unto those who have observed the fast for love of Thee and abstained from all that is abhorrent unto thee. Grant, O my Lord, that the fire of Thy love and the heat produced by the fast enjoined by Thee may inflame them in Thy Cause, and make them to be occupied with Thy praise and with remembrance of Thee.

Since thou hast adorned them, O my Lord, with the ornament of the fast prescribed by Thee, do Thou adorn them also with the ornament of Thine acceptance, through Thy grace and bountiful favor. For the doings of men are all dependent upon Thy good-pleasure, and are conditioned by Thy behest. Shouldst Thou regard him who hath broken the fast as one who hath observed it, such a man would be reckoned among them who from eternity had been keeping the fast. And shouldst Thou decree that he who hath observed the fast hath broken it, that person would be numbered with such as have caused the Robe of Thy Revelation to be stained with dust, and been far removed from the crystal waters of this living Fountain.

Thou art He through Whom the ensign "Praise-worthy art Thou in Thy works" hath been lifted up, and the standard "Obeyed art Thou in thy behest" hath been unfurled. Make known this Thy station, O my God, unto Thy servants, that they may be made aware that the excellence of all things is dependent upon Thy bidding and Thy word, and the virtue of every act is conditioned by Thy leave and the good pleasure of Thy will, and may recognize that the reins of men's doings are within the grasp of Thine acceptance and Thy commandment. Make this known unto them, that nothing whatsoever may shut them out from Thy Beauty, in these days whereon the Christ exclaimeth: "All dominion is Thine, O Thou the Begetter of the Spirit (Jesus)"; and Thy Friend (Muhammad) crieth out: "Glory be to Thee, O Thou the Best-Beloved, for that thou hast uncovered thy Beauty, and written down for Thy chosen ones what will cause them to attain unto the seat of the revelation of Thy Most Great Name, through which all the peoples have lamented excepted such as have detached themselves from all else except Thee, and set themselves towards Him Who is the Revealer of Thyself and the Manifestation of Thine attributes."

He Who is Thy Branch and all Thy company, O my Lord, have broken this day their fast, after haviang observed it within the precincts of Thy court, and in their eagerness to please Thee. Do Thou ordain for Him, and for them, and for all such as have entered Thy presence in those days all the good Thou didst destine in Thy Book. Supply them, then, with that which will profit them, in both this life and in the life beyond.

Thou, in truth, art the the All-Knowing, the All-Wise.

-- Bahá'u'lláh

18th edition = 17th edition? At least for Dr.M

2009-03-19T02:10:00.006+08:00

We met Dr. M, our gynae teacher on Mon. During the class, she saw my ' gynecology by 10 teachers 18th edition' textbook and wanted to borrow it to make photocopy and would return to me on Sat. Without hesitation, i said ok. Guess what. Today she came in , bringing an older edition(17th edition) and started showing and telling me both books are the same actually, just that the publisher wanted to make money by changing some words and colour and then republished the book as newer edition.And she wanted to exchange for a newer edtion with an older edition. What the heck! Just for your info, 17th edition and 18th edition of that book were printed in year 2000 and 2008 respectively. Though i never compared both books before, i personally feel there should be changes, e.g the way of managing and treating a particular disorder. And she kept on insisting that such small changes aren't needed by students, only needed by teachers. And she kept on asking whose book is that,as i previously told her that book belongs to my friend. And she demanded me to tell her who's that.Haih..Seems that i have to create a good story to /not to exchange the book. You will never know what will happen if you don't. Anyway, an advice to all students, don't bring your English Gynae textbook to class in case you have Dr.M as your teacher!

The end of journey in Manipal

2009-03-03T01:38:00.002+08:00

From today onwards, her journey in Manipal, India ended. And it shall continue in Malaysia...All the best to her in remaining 2.5 years in MMMC, Malacca !

For my darling...

2009-02-14T00:01:00.000+08:00

Happy Valentines Day to you dear! =) Take good care of urself, be happy always and may God bless us along the way...

With love,
yenny

2009-02-13T01:15:00.005+08:00

My piece of art - 'My Home, My Country' , produced during my Medical Psychology cycle. Well, i have to admit that i have no talent in drawing,and as far as i could recall, this is the 1st drawing that i have completed since years ago...Last drawing i produced was in Form 3, Arts class i guess. haha...this is just meant for laughing! Btw, my home is in the bottom left corner of the drawing.

p/s : Tomorrow will start Infectious Diseases cycle.

Who's Misha ?

2009-02-09T02:16:00.006+08:00

The 1st time i met Misha was in late 2004, that was my 1st year in Volgograd. He was just 3 months old that time,very cute right? The guy holding him is his father, Mihail, our Baha'i ABM (Auxiliary Board Member ) for Volgograd Region.

Today, we went to a gathering at his house. And met him again. Guess what, he's now 4 years old, will be 5 in July. He's very playful, but then never turned us down whenever we asked him to help us doing things. Gonna miss this kid when i go back to Msia in the future!

The Stones

2009-02-08T00:18:00.005+08:00

I picked these stones while walking along the beach of the Black Sea. Hopefully i can make a nice gift for my dear with these stones. Hope she will like it. Ideas? Currently i have a few in mind, but it still depends which one i will be able to make it. Well, still have 23 weeks to prepare for this. Shall take my own sweet time to think . :-D

Winter Break 2009

2009-02-07T06:03:00.006+08:00

Nearly forgot that i still own a blog... Just wanna share how did i spend my holiday. Exam finished on 24th. On 25th ( New Year eve), 13 of us had our 'reunion dinner' at the hostel. Well, you can see the dishes prepared in the photo .I prepared the 'Emperor Chicken',the ones which were still wrapped in aluminium foil..And this year i lau-sang-ed too, something which isn't commonly practiced at my home .. During the process of lau sang, we need to speak good words, e.g Gong Xi Fa Chai...

On 26th Feb, 16 of us took the train to Sochi, which is 20 hours away. Just for your info, Sochi is the organising city for Winter Olympics 2014.. And certainly the purpose of me going there is to ski ,or to be exact, to experience skiing. After few attempts, obviously i noticed that i have no talent in skiiing. Managed to snap some nice photos on top of the mountain , which is 2228m above the sea level. Enjoyed walking along the Black Sea in the morning, and the winter in Sochi is so nice. During day time, it was just +10celcius..I could just go outside with a thin jacket. Spent 2 nights in Sochi and then came back to Volgograd... Everyone of us liked Sochi...Wonder if MMC will recognize Sochi State Medical University (if there's ) one day?If that happened, i would encourage students to go there...Haha..Reason? Sochi is a much comfortable city to stay in :-D
Well...these were the 2 major events in my winter break.. Of course I bought a Valentine's gift for my dear too. Wanted to post it, but i wasn't allowed to, as it's a fragile item. Btw, my gift is labelled as 'obscene' and 'shocking' by my dear, who's an innocent girl who still lives in kuno era. Hehe.. Shall reveal the gift on the blog when time comes....And if you are thinking something really obscene , i would suggest you to stop it right now...Because when you see the gift, you might end up saying 'cheh, this also called obscene?shocking?'...Hehe.

Read through few topics of this book, easy to understand and digest...It's now on the top of my booklist for next academic year!

Sleeping Less Than 7 Hours Per Night Increases Common Cold Risk (Interview with Dr. Sheldon Cohen, PhD, Carnegie Mellon University)

2009-01-14T01:48:00.000+08:00

(January 12, 2009 - Insidermedicine) Getting at least 8 hours of sleep may help stave off the common cold, according to research published in the Archives of Internal Medicine.

Here are some tips to help you sleep well:

• Go to bed only when you are tired.

• Avoid taking naps. If you can't get through the day without one, limit them to less than one hour, before 3 PM.

• Get up and go to sleep at the same time every day.

Researchers from Carnegie Mellon University interviewed over 150 healthy adults about their sleep habits. They then quarantined each person and gave them nasal drops containing the cold virus.

Those who slept less than 7 hours a night were nearly three times as likely to develop cold symptoms as those who slept 8 hours or more. Those who spent less than 92% of their time in bed asleep were over five times as likely to develop cold symptoms than those who spent 98% or more of this time asleep.

In the following podcast, Dr. Sheldon Cohen, the principal investigator of this study, offered some further insight.

Today's research adds to the mounting evidence that a good night's sleep is important for optimum health. It is possible that sleep helps regulate the changes that occur in the body that cause symptoms of illness.

Happy New Year 2009

2008-12-31T17:20:00.002+08:00

Happy New Year 2009 everyone! Best wishes from Volgograd, Russian federation. Tonight is the time for feast and party. Haa...

A good news for Malaysian Housemen

2008-12-19T01:40:00.002+08:00

Read about this good news on TheStar Online,

Day off after 24-hour duty for trainee doctors

KUALA TERENGGANU: Trainee doctors will now get a day off after carrying out their 24-hour on-call duty.

Health Minister Datuk Liow Tiong Lai said the directive will take effect immediately.

He said it applies only to housemen on active call and at the hospital the entire time.

“We will not let these trainee doctors be overworked. We will look into their welfare,” he told reporters yesterday after visiting the Sultanah Nur Zahirah Hospital.

Liow was asked to comment on grouses from trainee doctors that they sometimes had to work almost 24 hours and then report to their superiors the next day.

Some trainee doctors complained that they had to work seven days a week without a single rest day during their two-year stint in government hospitals as housemen.

Liow said trainee doctors should also be allowed to concentrate on getting the right exposure and medical proficiency by giving them off-days.

A trainee doctor at Sultanah Nur Zahirah Hospital, who only wanted to be known as Sally, said she was relieved to hear that the ministry would look into their welfare.

“Frankly, we are very exhausted as we have to focus on our training and also carry out clinical rounds frequently,” she said. “It is stressful.”

Sally said she and her colleagues were unable to pay attention during their stints due to fatigue and time constraints.

Some thoughts to share after reading ?Mine is just simple : Same pay, more time to study, less time getting scolded. Haha....Anyway, i was joking about the 'less time getting scolded' part.. I am sure the senior doctors scold the trainee for their own good rite. :-)

24th Birthday Celebration

2008-12-17T04:02:00.011+08:00

1stly, thanks to my groupmates from Group 38 (Yat, Mozac, Ben, Cip, Cud, Ina and Diana) for celebrating my birthday with me at Yat'&Mozac's place on 13th Dec...Shall update the pics after getting them from Ina:-)...
Now i wanna update the pics taken during my birthday celebration in Kim hostel by my hostel mates, on 14th Dec(the exact day). Thanks so much! To Melvin, Bernard, Yhu Voon, Hannie, Yi Jia, Huey Yee, Tesini and Li Liang...I didn't expect all those, esp.ly a home made cheese cake..hehe...Since it' was a celebration at the hostel, somemore it was in my room, so it's considered 'informal',and we just wore like usual...
And finally, thanks to those who wished me, either in person or via internet/phone:-)

Hostel mates (from the left) : Huey Yee, Hannie, Yi Jia, Li Liang, Yhu Voon, Bernard(in white ,with specs), Melvin (in black)..And i am the one in the middle,squatting...

Melvin's turn to be the photographer..Newly included in this pic is Ms. Tesini Nathan.

Me with a home made cheese cake..It tastes yummy!Hehe...heard it was being baked 'illegally'.

Cake handing ceremony, by our guest of honour, Ms.CHN.

How to perform a perimortem cesarean section (c-section)?

2008-12-16T01:26:00.002+08:00

Read about this in a newly located site : My EmergencyMedicine Blog.

Indications:

pregnant patient in cardiac arrest who has not responded to resuscitation efforts within 4 minutes of onset
viable fetus, generally > 24 weeks (but somewhat institution dependent)

Procedure

vertical incision from 2-3 cm above pubic symphysis to 1 cm below the umbilicus
extend incision through subcutaneous fat to rectus sheath
grasp rectus sheath with forceps and carefully make incision through it with scalpel/Mayo scissors
expose the uterus
make midline vertical incision through uterus with scalpel/scissors
deliver fetus

Sources

Reichman, E MD and Simon, R MD. “Perimortem Cesarean Section” Emergency Medicine Procedures. McGraw Hill. 2004.

Roberts, J MD. et al. “Perimortem Cesarean Section” Roberts: Clinical Procedures in Emergency Medicine 4th ed. Elsevier. 2004.

Happy Birthday!!

2008-12-14T00:01:00.000+08:00

Found the presents...hehe! Love this doraemon!

Wanna wish my dear HAppy happy birthday =) ..

Have a wonderful year ahead! and stay healthy and happy!